Don’t feel like reading a lot? That’s okay. If you read nothing else here: just read this: when it comes to fostering or adopting children in “the system,” nothing matters more than your home study.
That’s the HOME...STUDY.
When you venture into the realm of foster/adoption (or as they say for short: fost-adopt), there is life before the homes study and then there is life after the home study.
Let me tell you a little but about what a home study represents.
If you happen to be someone as ignorant as I was a couple of months ago, you would assume a home study means someone coming to your house to make sure you don’t have exposed electrical wires, a pool without a fence, an unlocked liquor cabinet, etc.
Well, what they really mean is a binder about 5 inches think with every detail anybody could possibly want to know about you. It has a picture of you (and your partner if applicable) on the front. It has information on your family history, your medical history, your life story, philosophy of parenting, a sample of your toenail clippings…well no. It doesn’t have a sample of your toenail clippings, but it might as well. It’s an extremely thorough profile of who you are and the type of home you are likely to provide.
So, now that we’ve been certified as ‘resource parents’ (i.e., the state’s relatively new term for parents cleared to take in foster children and/or adopt from the foster system) things have become pin drop quiet.
I am figuring this out as I go, but I have already managed to gather that social workers aren’t exactly beating down your door trying to push kids into your home. Nope. Seems you have to be an advocate for getting the right kids into your facility.
I’ve also learned that things tend to slow down quite a bit in December…for two reasons. One…when school is out, activity slows as teachers are off, and it seems most of the reports about problems in the home come from teachers. Also, people who work at the agencies and the county (and trust me…NOTHING happens without the county’s involvement) tend to take a lot of time off near the end of the year.
So, after three months of turning our lives upside down trying to meet all of the dozens of stringent requirements in time for the holidays, it seems little is likely to happen until after the new year begins.
So…back to the home study…since becoming certified, we are feeling really official. We’re now authorized to scour those online photo lists of adorable children who are just dying to call you daddy and inquire about their cases. So…I’ve looked into a couple, and invariably when you call the “hotline” that’s plastered everywhere you get patched through to some disgruntled county worker who wants to get you off the phone as quickly as possible. They’re not terribly forthcoming with information and not really keen on talking to you at all unless they have your HOME STUDY.
“Your agency needs to send over your home study,” she said.
“Okay…well I am sure they will as soon as possible…now about these kids who really need a home…”
“Work with your agency and make sure they send us your home study…then we can talk…”
Then I’m looking at these online lists that don’t require you to call anybody. You can just hit a button that says ‘Yes! I’m interested’ But, before you do, you have to swear under penalty of perjury that you have a completed HOME STUDY.
Sure enough…when the therapist came to visit us three weeks ago, he said he was there to complete our HOME STUDY.
Weird, I thought. DIdn’t that other social worker already walk the premises and make sure we had purchased all our child-proof devices? Wasn’t that our home study?
No. That was just a home INSPECTION. A HOME STUDY is the comprehensive stack of photos, forms and documents bound together by three magical rings, promising to unlock the questions of the universe. And, it has your picture on it. You know…the one of you and your hubby wearing ball caps and standing in front of Tiananmen Square last year.
That’s the HOME STUDY.
So…if someone were to ask me what I wished I knew in September what I know, I would say this: I would have liked to know what a home study is and how I get one. Because once you have a home study you have your ticket to venture into a whole new world of wonder and enchantment.
I have a home study now. So, let the journey begin.
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