Never say Never

I never thought I was the marrying type. And, yet here I am…just having celebrated my first wedding anniversary.

I never thought I would be able to afford a house in Los Angeles. And, here I am…four bedrooms, a yard, a husband…and a tenant in the front room (and, he’s a super cool guy).

Heck. I never even thought I’d be a dog owner. So much responsibility, and I can be kind of selfish. Plus, so many heartbreaks when I was a boy. And, here I am…the proud papa of two chihuahua mixes for seven years now. Oh, how I love those little animals.

And, a few years ago, when I said I was adopting dogs, friends would say “You know it’s just a stepping stone to having kids.”

I would laugh, firmly saying, “No. Not this time. Without a doubt, absolutely not.”

And, yet here we are. Hubby and I are embarking on a new journey…to become parents…for the first time at age 46 (hubby and I were born about a month apart, albeit in different countries).

What kind of parents will we be? Don’t know.

How many children will we have? Who will they be? How old will they be? Will they be boys or girls? How long will they live with us? Where will they come from and where will they go in life?

Don’t know.

We’re at the tail end of completing a mountain of paperwork, getting examined by the doctor, finger-printed, and submitting copies of finance records, insurance certificates and sketches of the floor plan of our house. We’re doing things I never thought I’d be doing ever in my life: installing child-proof locks, compiling food and water for a disaster kit and a fire extinguisher in the hallway.

Oy my god. we just put in a land line.

All of this so a social worker can poke around in our drawers and cupboard to make sure our home is a safe place for minors.

Our lives are under a microscope...even more so than when we bought our home. All because we want to get the certification to become foster parents or even adopt from the foster system.

I am not usually comfortable with answering a questions with ‘Don’t know.’ In fact, I’m kind of a control freak. But, this time I have to be. Because the journey has just begun, and we have no idea what shape it will take.

Which is one of the reasons I am writing all this down.

More to come.